Change
by that-girl-writing-fanfics
Summary: Something has changed with in Haruhi and she makes a decision that changes the host club forever.
1. Chapter 1

Haruhi PoV

I'm scared.

I know something has happened, something has changed within me, I can feel it and I can see the changes. I hate it, and it scares me.

Kyoya PoV

I looked around the club room, everyone was here, except for Haruhi. She's late again. Probably lost track of time in the library again. She better be here soon.

"Hey Kyoya, when are the guests arriving today?" Tamaki asked.

"The doors open in 7 minutes." I replied.

"Should someone go get Haruhi?" He asked.

"No, she doesn't have any clients until half way through." I answered.

"Really, she's usually booked." Kouru said.

"Yes, it does seem like she may be slipping." I answered as I took note in my book.

Haruhi PoV

I looked at my watch I would have a client soon.

I looked around, I couldn't see much I opened a door into a dark supply closet and that's where I broke down.

Get your barrings together.

I walked quickly to the club room.

Kouru PoV

"Good bye Ladies!" I said as my first clients left. "Hey, Hikaru, has Haruhi seemed off to you?"

"No. Why?" Hikaru replied.

"I don't know, it's probably my imagination."

Haruhi PoV

I silently walked into the club room, put my bag in the back and started to prepare tea.

"Haruhi, you're late." I told her.

"Sorry, Kyoya, I lost track of time in the library." I replied.

"You've been doing that an awful lot lately." He said as he poured some tea.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I'll try to be on time tomorrow." I left before Kyoya could get another word in.

I walked over to my table, set the tea out and waited for my guests. I didn't see them anywhere. I looked around the room and saw that my regulars were with Mori today, less clients for me to worry about.

I waited and waited and soon enough the club had ended and my clients didn't show up, but it's whatever. I don't think I have the energy to put up that facade anyways. I got up and started to put the tea away.

"Haruhi I need to talk to you before you leave." Said Kouru.

"I need to have a few words with you as well Haruhi." Kyoya said.

"Okay." I said softly. I finished washing the mugs used today and then I went to wait out in the front room.

"Hey Haruhi." Kouru said quietly.

"Hey." I replied.

"Are you okay?" He asked, looking me over.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure, you're okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, why?" I asked.

"Nothing, it must be my imagination." Kouru said as he walked away.

"Haruhi." Kyoya said.

"Yes."

"You have slipped in performance."

"I'm sorry."

"Is your..." Kyoya started.

"I'm quitting the club." I said.

"Haruhi?" He asked. "What do you mean your quitting the club?"

"Eclair payed my debt. I'm free to go." I said.

"Yes, but, you're part of the club." Kyoya said, his glasses glinting.

"You said yourself my performance has slipped. I'm done." I said as I grabbed my bag and headed out the door holding back tears.

"Haruhi!" I heard Kyoya yell.

I walked faster.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	2. Chapter 2

Haruhi PoV

I walked until I reached the park near my apartment complex, and I just broke down.

I didn't really want to leave but I have to. I feel dead inside, like a zombie. I couldn't stand them anymore. They would begin to notice, they already have.

There is something wrong with me, I don't know what and I can't have them see me like this.

Mitskuni PoV

"Everyone I have an announcement to make." Kyoya said as we all walked over. "Haruhi has decided to leave the host club."

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO OUR DAUGHTER!" Tamaki yelled.

"I was having a discussion about her performance in the host club and she blurted out the fact that she wanted to leave." Kyoya said calmly.

"Couldn't you have forced her to stay." Hikaru said.

"There really isn't anything I could have said. Her debt has been paid and she had made up her mind already. I know this is quite a blow but, we have to keep everything together for our guests." Kyoya said.

"There must be something wrong, we should go talk to her." I said quietly to Takashi.

He nodded in response.

"That is all. I expect to see you all here tomorrow." Kyoya said.

Me and Takashi left followed by the other hosts. We walked out to our car and we told our driver to head to Haruhi's adress

Haruhi PoV

I gathered my bearings and started to head home. As I started to cross the street, I saw Hunni sempi and Mori sempi at my door so I ran back and hid behind a tree, hoping that the didn't see me. I couldn't face them.

I waited for a short while until they turned to get back into their car I waited and watched as they drove away. I remained behind the tree a few more moments before I decided it was safe to dash across the street.

I ran into my apartment and sunk down at the door. It had been an awful day, just like any other really. The thought dawned on me. I couldn't remember that last time I had a really good day.

I got up and walked over to the bathroom I opened the cabinet and saw there were dad's old depression pills. He got them after mom died but he stopped taking them a while ago. they might help, or something.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	3. Chapter 3

Kouru PoV

"What are you thinking about?" Hikaru asked.

"I was just thinking that it's weird Haruhi's not here today." I replied looking over at her empty desk.

"Why are you even thinking about her, she's a traitor, she left us. Without even telling us why." Hikaru said.

"Don't say that. it's her decision, and besides we still have class together." I reminded him.

"I don't care. I don't even want to see her again." Hikaru told me, but I know that isn't the truth, he just doesn't want to admit he feels hurt by her quitting the club like that.

Mitskuni PoV

"Hey Takashi, I heard Haruhi wasn't in school today. Do you think she's okay?" I asked as he started to clean up the teacups and plates used during club.

"I don't know." He replied.

"I want to see if she's okay, but maybe she wants some space, and that's why she didn't come." I said.

"Yeah."

"Maybe, Kyoya will know." I said as I walked over to him. "Hey Kyo-chan do you know where Haruhi is?"

"Sorry Hunny- sempi, I don't know." Kyoya replied.

"I hope she's okay." I said.

"As do I."

"Mitskuni, we have to be at the dojo soon." Takashi said.

"That's right, see you later guys." I said as I hoped on to Takashi's shoulders.

Kyoya PoV

I wonder where she is. It wouldn't be hard to find out, but perhaps I should let her be. She quit maybe it was because she felt she didn't have enough privacy.

Oh Haruhi. I do wish you hadn't quit.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	4. Chapter 4

Kyoya PoV

"All students are to be present in assembly room number 2 immedietly." A voice over the loud speaker said.

"Do you know what's going on Kyoya?" Tamaki asked?

"No." I replied as I walked out of the room followed by the rest of my class.

Everyone filed into the room. I sat close to the front on the edge with Tamaki at my other side. We waited for everyone else to take their seats.

"I am sure you all wonder why you have been called here today, and it is with a heavy heart that I tell you why.

"This is the sort of matter every principle dreads having to bring up but it is important. If you look around the room you will see a face is missing, a face that shall never return to the halls of Ouran. This student has been an outstanding member of this school community, she is hardworking, she kind. And she she will be missed. Haruhi Fujioka committed suicide two nights ago."

A gasp was heard through out the room

I couldn't believe it. Haruhi. Dead. that doesn't make sense. This has to be some sort of sick joke. I refuse to believe this. No. I looked over at Tamaki. It didn't look like the words had registered yet. I started to get up but a teacher rushed over and told me it was mandatory that I stay. I really didn't think I had in me. Tears started to well in my eyes. I looked for Mori sempi, Hunny sempi had crawled into his lap and was sobbing. The Hikaru looked angry and Kouru just looked devastated.

"I know this is a hard thing to deal with" she must mean impossible. "but we have therapists here if you need to talk but first Fujioka left a note to be read to all of you. It is short but she wanted it to be read, I'm sorry, I know death is hard to deal with, but I am doing you a favor. This may have been her dying note, but do not remember her as dead, remember her as the last time you saw her, walking down the halls, studying. Remeber her alive and happy. We will get past her death. Now, you will be returning to your home rooms where your teachers will speak with you some more. I also need to see Ootori, Suoh, Hitachiin's, Hanninozuka, and Morinozuka."

Students had started to file out, some crying, some looking distant, some looking unfazed by Haruhi's death. I sat there tears streaming down my face, showing no signs of stopping. The prinicple motioned us forward.

Slowly I arose. I looked around. Mori- semppi was carrying a sobbing Hanni sempi with tears streaming down his own face. Tamaki still looked blank, he got up mechanically and walked forward. The Hikaru had his bangs hiding his eyes, but I could see the tears. While Kouru just let them flow.

"I know you boys were especially close to Fujioka. Are you going to be okay?" The Principle asked.

None of us responded.

"I know this is hard, but she left each of you a note." The principle said has he pulled 6 envelopes. "Take them. You don't have to read them now, but at some point you should. And you boys have been excused for the rest of the day."

We all just kind of looked at each other. Unsure of what to do. What to say.

"I'll let you boy's be alone, you can always talk to me if you want." He said as he headed towards the door. From the corner of my eye I saw a therapist walk in.

Kouru was the first to speak up, "We should all go to our house. I don't think any of us should be alone now."

We all nodded in agreement and shuffled off to the Hitachin car. We were silent all the way up to their bedroom when Tamaki broke the silence.

"We should open these." He said holding up his letter.

"I'm not. She chose to be selfish, I don't care about whatever last thing she wanted me to know. If it was really important she should have told us in person." Hikaru said as he started to leave the room, but Kouru grabbed him.

"Hikaru. We don't know how she felt, maybe she thought she couldn't come to us. Don't let this tarnish your memory of her." He said pleadingly.

"She should have known that we were always there for her." Hikaru said as he headed through the door.

"Don't leave." Kouru yelled.

"I can't be in here anymore." Hikaru said as he left, slamming the door behind him. Kouru started sobbing harder, none of our tears had stopped flowing since we heard the tragic news, he sunk down on the ground.

Tamaki walked over to him and put his arm around Kouru's shoulder.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	5. Chapter 5

Mitskuni PoV

I couldn't believe that Haruhi had done it, I thought she had dreams that she was going to accomplish. I looked at the letter in my hand and decided to open it First I got up and walked over to the window, somehow this felt more private, like a sort of last conversation between me and her.

Dear Hunni- sempi,

I'm sorry. I don't really know what to say, but I didn't mean for anything like this to happen. But things got out of control and I couldn't handle it, and I didn't know how to ask for help. But know there was nothing you could have done, I just haven't felt like me for a while now.

I do want you to know that I am flattered that you thought to check up on me on my last day. I was watching from the bushes. I didn't want to face you, I couldn't face you, but thank you for that, you don't how much that really meant to me.

You are strong, and it is for that reason that I know you can handle what I am asking. I know a death can tear people apart, but you have to be there for Mori sempi, Tamaki sempi, Kyoya sempi, Hikaru and Kouru. Please.

And I am truly sorry for what I have done, and I am truly grateful that I met you, and I'm sorry if you think it would have been easier if I had never broken that vase. I can't express how sorry I am about all of this.

Sincerely.

Haruhi

Tears started to roll down my cheek, but I was careful to make sure none hit this precious paper. I looked around the room, the other's were also reading there notes. but I stayed at the window, giving them their last conversation with Haruhi.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	6. Chapter 6

Mitskuni PoV

The next day I went back to Ouran, not to attend classes, I didn't have to go back until next week. I wanted to make a memorial for Haruhi, I didn't really know where a good place was so I made it in Music room #3. When I entered the ground it brought tears to my eyes, but when I entered that music room, they were coming in an uncontrollable flow.

Ever so gently I set up a little memorial, I had a simple little table, I knew she wouldn't want anything too ornate, I put up a picture of her from a trip we had taken together as a club, she looked so happy it was hard to believe she had felt so alone and miserable so much so that she decided to end it all, and I put some incense and flowers out.

"Haru- chan? I'm sorry that all of this happened, we miss you terribly. I hope you found your mom and that you're happy. I want you to know though, that I don't regret meeting you, or you breaking that vase. I can't imagine the club with out you, and I didn't ever want to. I will never forget you. Haru-chan, I miss you, and I wish you well. And I promise to look after them, for you I would do anything. And look I brought you a little Usa-chan, He can fit in your pocket so you'll never forget me." I said to Haruhi, hoping with all my heart that she was here and listening, that she could some how have this little bit of me where ever she is.

I sat there for a few more moments, looking at that picture, thinking of all the times we had spent together, about everything she had done for the club and even after all that they had been through she still didn't think they were close enough for her to tell them what she was going through. I'm an awful friend. If I had done something sooner maybe she would still be here, If I had said the right thing she may have reconsidered. If I had been better maybe she would still be here.

Disclaimer I do not own OHSHC


	7. Chapter 7

disclaimer I do not own OHSHC

Mori PoV

Mitskuni had gone to Ouran to set up a shrine for Haruhi. I wanted to go with him, but this seemed like too private a thing for me to go with him. But now I'm alone. I can't stop thinking about what I should have said, what I should have done. If maybe I had paid more attention she would be here. Thinking of things I should have done won't bring her back though. And besides, she's in a better place now. With her mother, now she'll be happy.

I decided Mitskuni had probably finished with everything he needed so I went to Ouran, to speak to Haruhi.  
I walked down to music room three and kneeled down at the shrine Mitskuni had left. "Haruhi, I don't think words can adequately describe how much you have done for us, how much you mean to us. I will miss you terribly. Please find your peace wherever you are and know had I never met you my life would consist of purely Mitskuni, you opened up the world for me and for that I am ever grateful. I miss you Haruhi. I'll never forget you."


	8. Chapter 8

Kyoya PoV

After Haruhi left the Host Club was disbanded. It didn't feel right opening with out her. None of us to go to class the rest of the week and I never saw them after that day.

The next monday I arrived to school, went to class. Tamaki didn't show up, I assumed that he just needed more time, that maybe he still hadn't come to terms, and honestly I could have used another day or two. Just being in the place Haruhi worked so hard to get to brought tears to my eyes, everywhere I looked there was a reminder of her.

I know Hunni- sempi set up a little shrine to her, I couldn't bring myself to even enter that room though, I couldn't stand the thought of entering that room. That room will forever be the room where I had some of my best times, being around my friends, being around Haruhi. I can never go there again, I can't, not that she has decided to leave us, leave me.

I went about my day in a zombie like state. I worked to learn everything, to block everything out, to suppress any emotion in hopes of some sense of normalcy, to perhaps forget that, for a moment, Haruhi left. To maybe be able to pretend that she never left, that she's in the library engulfed in some book.

When the day finally came to a close I was called to the chairman's office. I walked up the flights of stairs and when I arrived the door was opened and I walked in.

"Kyoya, take a seat." The man said as he gestured to a chair. He looked sad, tired. Like he hadn't slept in days.

"What is it, Sir?" I asked.

"I am sorry that Fujioka died, I know you were all friends." He started, I looked down at my hands as they started to shake. "I hate to tells you this, but you were his best friend. Tamaki, he..." The Suoh turned to look out the window, I could here his voice waiver. "Tamaki took Haruhi's death hard. I don't think he ever really came to terms with it." I felt my heart rate quicken, I could tell what he was getting at, but I hoped desperately that it wasn't what I though.

"Where is Tamaki?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"I'm sorry, I should have noticed, done something." The Chairman said his voice cracking.

"Where is he?" I asked again.

"Tamaki, he has joined Haruhi, he has left us." The chairman finished.

I couldn't take this. I got up with and left without another word. I broke out into a sprint and I ran away from it all, from the memories, from the school, from everyone. I ran for who knows how long. I just had to get away.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note- I hope you like the story, But it has been brought to my attention that this might be triggering, so bear that in mind.

Mori PoV

Mitskuni was had been taking everything pretty well, he had cried but he was accepting of what happened, he missed her, we all did. But he put up a brave front, I believe it has something to do with the note Haruhi left him.

He had been doing so well. He hadn't made an effort to contact anyone yet, he figured we all needed time to come to terms. But when we returned to school we realized that that hadn't really happened. When we returned to school the entire atmosphere was deppressing sad. Not like it had been the day her death was announced, it seemed worse. I hadn't the slightest idea of what had happened. I didn't know what brought all of this about until I was called up to the chairman's office.

I met Mitskuni there, I gave him a question look, thinking he might know why we were called her. When we entered there was Chairman Suoh, The head of the Ootori corporation and the head of the Hitachiin business.

"Boys have a seat." The chairman said gesturing to two seats in front of his deck.

We sat down silently. I was worried. Something must have happened to them. They all looked tired, sad.

"I know you were close to my sons, being in that club together." Hitachiin said. I nodded, in sync with Mitskuni. "They won't be coming back." He chocked out.

I didn't understand. I didn't want to understand. I knew what he was getting at but I couldn't accept that.

"What do you mean?" Mitskuni asked softly.

"They were wrapped up in there little world. They couldn't take it here. They weren't in pain, the embalmer believes they were happy when they died, he found huge amount of hallucinogens in there systems." He told looking down at his hands.

I shook my head, that was, they wouldn't have...

They would though. I knew that Haruhi meant alot to them, more than I could really comprehend. I didn't believe thay would react like this though. I looked up Ootori began speaking.

"I'm sorry, you boy's have already been through enough. But Kyoya ran away." I looked up, so he wasn't dead yet? We just had to find him. "Don't get your hopes up, we found his body. He collapsed on a road miles from the school, died of over exertion and dehydration." He told us bluntly.

"Kyo-chan, he. No he would have. He can't have. I promised her." Mitskui stuttered, starting to hyperventilate. His eyes were open wide, tears streaming out of them. I wanted to do something to console him but, I was frozen, I couldn't accept that they were just gone.

"I hate to add anymore to this but, there is one more thing." The Chairman started. Not Tamaki, he brought us all together, I really didn't want it to be true, but I knew. I looked over at Mitskuni, it didn't look like he could take much more. "Shortly after Haruhi died, he took his life. He's in a better place now, with his friends."

He's with our friends. I'm stuck here though. No not stuck, I could join them right now if I really wanted, I could jump out the window. No, I couldn't leave Mitskuni though, then he would be alone and he would surely follow.

Mitskuni got up and left, I followed him. He shouldn't be alone, who knows what might happen. He walked down the halls in a trance like state.

No I know why everyone seemed to have died a little, most of the school's beloved host club had gone, leaving only two members.

I followed Mitskuni down to Music room #3, I followed him as he walked to the shrine he'd left for Haruhi. He took out his wallet and pulled out a picture of all of us and put it on the shrine. He had stopped crying, now he just looked at them in the picture.

"Haruhi?" He began. "I'm sorry, I couldn't do it, I wasn't strong enough. Please don't hate me. If I had known I would have done something. If I had only known. I'm sorry. Please forgive me."

It scared me, the way he was talking, he sounded crazed, like he wasn't him an more , I couldn't blame him, he had just lost some his closest friends, I had just lost some of my closest friends.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	10. Chapter 10

Mori PoV

I brought Mitskuni back to his house, I brought him to his mother. I thought about staying, but his mother would watch him and I need time to understand everything, come to terms.

I drove back to my estate and walked mechanically to my bed room. I sat starring out the window. Tears started to cascade down my cheek.

Haruhi's gone.

Tamaki's gone.

Kyoya's gone.

Hikaru's gone.

Kouru's gone.

72% of the host club gone. It doesn't matter. The club was disbanded after Haruhi left us, everyone else just couldn't bear to live with out her. She affected each of us so greatly.

She affected me in ways I am only just beginning to see, but now she's gone and she's taken nearly all of my friends. It feels she may even have Mitskuni now. He'll never be the same, the club meant so much to him, it meant so much to all of us but now it's in tatters at my feet.

The club seemed invincible, like our own little heaven. No longer will I have that escape.

I stared out the window, watching as rain clouds started to ease into view. I watched as slowly drops fell from the sky, as if mourning the loss of my friends.

I don't know how long I stared out the window, wrapped up in my thoughts, but the shrill ringing of my phone brought me out my trance.

"Takashi!? Takashi! Takashi." I heard Mitskuni's mother sob into the phone. I was tempted to hang up, I could guess what she had to say. "Taka-"

"Is Mitskuni alright?" I asked slowly.

"He's- He's. Please come over now." She finished and hung up.

I ran out to the drive way tears and rain running down my face I jumped into a car and was off. Mitskuni would't leave me alone, he wouldn't, He couldn't. He would talk to me, tell me. I tried to convince myself.

When I arrived I ran out of the car and into the house. There was no one at the entrance. I ran to Mitskuni's room, but stopped just outside the door. I could hear the sobs.

Slowly I turned the door knob and opened the door. The sight that greeted my was horrific. Blood was smeared on the walls, the floor. I could see a tuft of blond hair peeking out from in front of Mitskuni's mother. She had something, someone, on her lap. I slowly walked over. There he was, covered in blood. He had huge gashes covering his arms, leg and face. Even in death he clung to that dear bunny of his. His mother looked up at me and started to sob harder.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I am so sorry." She started to chant. I didn't say anything I just sunk down to my knees, starring at the boy in her arms, waiting, hoping that he would hop into my lap.

When that didn't happen I reached over and pulled him into my lap and sobbed harder. I clutched at his body, trying to hold him closer to me. But he wasn't there. It was just his body. Not him, he had gone when he found out about all of their deaths, he had left me for the rest of the host club.

Disclaimer- I do not own OHSHC


	11. Chapter 11

Mentions of suicide, trigger warning

Mori Pov

Once the ambulance came Mitskuni had to torn away from me I just couldn't believe that be was gone, that everyone was gone. . Everyone had left so quickly that there had been no memorial services for anyone.

I didn't know what to do so I went to the place where we had all become friends, Iran to Music Room #3. When I got there I kneeled down at the little shrine Mitskuni had created for Haruhi; but now it seemed to be for the whole club. I looked at the picture of all of us at the beach. It seemed impossible for all of them to be gone when just a week age we had all been in this very room entertaining guests.

I couldn't take this anymore so I left. I went home, went straight to my bedroom and locked the door behind me. I sat on my bed and just stared at my hands. I felt so useless, so helpless, so lost.

I got up and paced around my room unsure of what to do. I walked into my bathroom and saw my razor and I thought of Mitskuni. How alone and desperate he must of felt to take a blade to his skin. Though, that doesn't sound so bad right now.

I had never been alone like this before. I had always had someone before I don't think I can handed this. I looked at the moor again and before I even knew what I was doing I had taken it apart and was dragging it up my arm. Blood started to drip down after I had dragged the razor all over my body I sat down on the bathroom floor.

Tears started to stream down my face and every thing started to go blurry. The last thought I had was I'm not going to be alone anymore.

A. N.- Thank for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


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